New Years Resolutions and the Pursuit of Joy

All of us are familiar with the rush of pressure and anticipation in January, after the excess and overwhelm of the holiday season passes, and we are left in the stark chill of winter. So many of us, as almost a punishment for the indulgence of December, throw ourselves into intense diet changes, Dry January, a promise to get up in the dark early hours of the morning and beat our body into submission through a new exercise routine. 

Here, at the end of February, I want to check in with you. 

How are your resolutions going? Have you stuck to the plan?

Or, like many of us, did you give up on it and add it to your library of unfulfilled goals? 

If that’s you – there is no shame in that. I used to be the same way. Every January, I’d commit to losing weight, or going to the gym more regularly, and I’d throw myself into it so hard that I’d burn out within a couple of weeks. And then the next year would come around, and I’d make the same resolution because I hadn’t achieved it yet. It became a cycle of disappointment and setting myself up for failure. 

So, I resolved not to make any more resolutions. (The irony!)

That did solve some of the problems I felt like I was facing – it lifted the pressure, it kept the disappointment cycle at bay. But it didn’t help me reach any goals, and I had things I wanted to do!

It was around this time that I had started to take more of my cues from the natural world, trying to live more seasonally. And I looked at what the world was doing in January.

My friends, it is resting. 

In the peak of winter, the world is not bursting forth with new plans and activity. It is resting in the quiet darkness, the icy solitude. 

January is not a time for growth.

I changed my approach to mirror that of the world around me. I chose a word of the year, to act as a guiding principle to move me toward my future goals, but in January, I allowed myself to be still. I allowed myself to rise and set with the sun, to limit my main activity to when the sun was highest in the sky. 

I stopped punishing my body with intense workouts in a time when my basic biological functions are telling me to conserve my energy, conserve my strength. 

That’s not to say I didn’t exercise – I did, with walks and yoga and pilates. I ate healthy but hearty meals, not limiting my carbs, and not forcing flavorless grocery store tomatoes and cucumbers into meals. I focused on squash, potatoes, leeks, artichokes. Braised meats, rice and whole grains. 

I allowed myself wine in moderation, hot cocoa on the coldest of days. 

I felt at peace.

For the first time in years, I didn’t struggle with seasonal depression. I enjoyed the cold, dark months of the year. 

And when spring approached, I was ready for it. 

By the end of February, I started waking up earlier on my own, simply following the sun. I was ready to think about gardening and growing. I was, more than anything, energized and ready to focus on my own goals and growth. 

That year, I made spring resolutions. I planted the seeds of my goals when the days were longer, and I had the energy to invest in them. 

The first year I did that was one of the most productive of my life. I finished a master’s degree program. I started a coaching certification. I made a career change and made a huge increase in my income. 

All because I honored the natural rhythm of my life, my body. 

I’ve repeated this process every year since. As the days get longer now, I’m thinking about my goals for the year. When I do this, I ask myself a few questions:

• What impact do I want to have this year?

• What are the things that light me up?

• What areas of my life could use extra attention or focus this year?

• Who do I want to be one year from now?

• When I think about my whole life, what impact do I want to have had? What do I want to be remembered for?

• What can I start doing right now to drive me towards that?

These questions help me set goals and direction for myself. 

And as I plant the seeds of my goals, I’m usually planting literal seeds for my garden. The alignment of the two processes to me always feels right. I am growing as the world grows.

(Note: if you happen to be reading this from the southern hemisphere, you’d want to swap around the timing to align with when spring is for you. Also – thanks for being here!)

All of that said, this year I did set a New Year’s resolution back in the depths of January. One that I didn’t seek out, but that just came to me unprompted. 

I resolved to seek joy in all things.

Not a typical resolution. A reminder that resolutions can, and maybe should, be fun, light, and joyful. Maybe not as explicitly as this, but a reminder nonetheless.

For me, this was a resolution in response to the fear and hate that has been brewing, which has been expressed through the political landscape here in the US. It was a call of defiance against anyone who is seeking to overwhelm or intimidate people into silence. 

I will find joy, even in the darkest of moments. I will see beauty in the cold, dark night sky, in the smile of my partner, in the way my dog high steps through the snow. 

Finding joy is not insignificant work. It transforms you. It fans the fire of hope and resistance, knowing that joy is still available to us. 

I will find joy in hard work. In digging in and helping people around me. I will find joy as I build community, both virtually and at home. I will find joy in the togetherness of protests, of community gardens, of libraries. 

I will find joy, because if I lose it, I have been defeated. And that is one thing I will not be. 

Joy is one of my core values, so making a revolution from it feels right to me. 

And as you consider your spring resolutions this year, I’d challenge you to consider this. 

Make your resolutions joyful. Choose things that make your life bigger, brighter, more bold, more playful, more determined. 

Try every new fruit you see, or a new restaurant once a month.

Commit to expanding your business or your impact on the world with grace and love. Commit to finding something truly fulfilling to spend your days on.

Sign up for a class and learn a new skill. Meet someone from a different background as you and get to know them. Commit to getting coffee with people who inspire you.

Tell people in your life about them. Encourage them to do the same – to find their own joy, their own fulfillment. 

And – tell me about them, too. I’d love to hear how you are changing your life and spreading your own joy. 

All my love,

Charlotte