True Luxury

The pursuit of a luxurious life is, in my opinion, one of the highest callings. It might seem frivolous or superficial to some, and I can see why it might if you believe that luxury is simply Chanel and Dom Perignon. On the balance of things happening in the world, “luxury”, as defined like that, could easily seem like a waste of time or energy.

If that’s the definition you are using of luxury, you’re limiting yourself. You are limiting opportunities for joy in your life, and what is more critical than finding true, deep joy?

What’s more, there’s a good chance you’re using other people as the gauge for what you should want and desire. Which, I can assure you, is not luxurious.

No — true luxury is unique to each of us. At its core, it’s having the space, time, and energy to do the things that light you up inside. It’s having built a life you love, that you wake up excited for. It’s knowing exactly who you are, and what matters to you, and living in alignment with that.

What all of these things have in common is that you could have them right now. Without changing a single thing in your life — not your job, not your shopping habits, not moving.

Instead, they require you to romanticize your life. To practice gratitude for what you already have, and for where you are in journey, even if that’s the very first step. Even if you feel like you’ve been stuck at a plateau.

This is something I’ve struggled with, if I’m being honest. It is so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day struggles and be miserable where you are. It’s so easy to look at people online or even in real life, and think they have it so much better than you, because they have the big, expensive house, or the job you think you’d love to have.

And struggling with that was leaving me stuck. So I developed a few questions to help me find my own way, and help me find what is really important to me.

• What feels luxurious to you?

• When you think about your best, most luxurious life, what does it feel like?

• What are the things I can do right now to start feeling that way?

The first time I did this, my list was things like: a Chanel flap bag, Louboutin heels, a whole designer wardrobe, really, a big house for entertaining. Which, given where I was at that point in my life, seemed totally out of reach, and I almost wanted to give up right then.

Instead, I shifted my perspective.

Rather than focusing on the things, I focused on how I thought the things would make me feel.

Abundant. Successful. Independent. Fulfilled. Worthy. Grateful. Deserving of the things I had.

And I also realized that those feelings could be had, independent of having the “things”.

So, to change how I felt, I started to change how I thought. I paid attention to the beautiful things I already had. The quiet, slow mornings where I could journal and reflect, a steaming cup of coffee in my hand. The way a candle and playlist could transform my day. The cozy home I have, that feels like a warm hug when you walk into it. The endless laughs with my partner. Long walks with my dog. A job that gives me the flexibility to be creative and the opportunity to work from literally anywhere.

As I focused on these things, they started to grow. Not that the things that had frustrated me went away, but because I was focusing my energy and attention on the beautiful things, those are what grew, and everything else simply felt less important. My life started to feel luxurious, exactly as I had always dreamed, as it was.

Things started to fall into place.

Because I was looking for beauty, for luxury, I started finding it everywhere. And because I was so open to good things, new opportunities started to pop up everywhere. I ended up in situations where my original thoughts of luxury (the things) were within reach, even if they didn’t seem to matter as much anymore.

Now, if you ask me what true luxury is, my answer is simple. It is the life that I have curated for myself, that brings me joy and fulfillment and challenge. It’s long dinners with friends, discussing books and drinking French wine. It’s staying up late to watch the northern lights over my neighbor’s house, and getting up early to watch the sunrise. It’s feeling my partner’s arms around me at the end of a long day.

True luxury is the life I have built, and am still building. And I’m here to help you do the same.

Much love,

Charlotte