Be On the Lookout for Wonder
“Always be on the lookout for the presence of wonder.”
What you pay attention to grows.
There’s a whole scientific reason for this (look up the Reticular Activating System or “RAS” if you want to learn the science behind it!) but at the most basic level, your RAS controls which information or stimuli your brain actually becomes aware of. It’s the reason why when you buy a new car, suddenly you see that car everywhere. It’s not that the car is suddenly more prevalent, your RAS is simply keyed in on it now.
Knowing this — knowing about it and how to leverage it — is one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal for building the life of your dreams. Because what we pay attention to grows. Our RAS says, “this is what we’re being asked to look for, so I’m going to find as much of this as I can.”
And my goodness does it deliver!
Which is why we need to be aware of it, and intentional about how we use it.
If we aren’t, then our brains tend to default to a survival mode. In survival mode, we are looking for danger, for things to be afraid of or that might present a threat to us. So that is what we see.
If we aren’t intentional, we might find ourselves thinking of the annoying things our partners do, or the mean look someone on the street gave us, or all the ways we aren’t living up to expectations.
And our RAS finds those things. It finds the danger, the failures, the annoyances, in all the stimuli we experience every day, and it brings them to the forefront of our mind.
Which in turn creates the world we are living in and experiencing.
And while this may at first seem daunting, it’s really a beautiful thing. Because once you know what your brain is doing without your intentional guidance, you can re-focus it.
Instead of focusing on all that has gone wrong, ask yourself what is going well in my life? What has gone right?
Instead of focusing on everything you don’t like about your partner, pay attention to the little things they do that you adore.
Instead of focusing on the things around you that scare you or worry you, focus on the things that bring you joy.
Journaling is a beautiful way to start doing this. At the end of each day, as you wind down for the evening, journal about all the things that went well during your day. Down to the smallest of details.
Write about the perfect cup of coffee you made. The laugh you shared with your partner. The particularly lovely view you caught on your nightly walk. Whatever it is that makes your heart sing.
Because the more you notice the small, wonderful things, the more your RAS looks for those things. The more it looks for them, the more it finds them. The more it finds them, the more wonderful your life becomes.
What you pay attention to grows, so pay attention to the things that fill you with wonder.
Much love,
Charlotte
